The Wild Sensitive and Disinhibition – When Your True Self Has Been Held Back

Many people hear the word disinhibition and immediately think of recklessness, impulsive behavior, or a lack of self-control. But for many Wild Sensitives, Highly Sensitive People with High Sensation Seeking, disinhibition often means something entirely different.

In this episode, Randy and Annet explore one of the most misunderstood aspects of High Sensation Seeking. Rather than wanting to lose control, many Wild Sensitives spend years doing the opposite: carefully managing their emotions, adapting to other people's expectations, and suppressing parts of themselves just to fit in.

Over time, that constant self-restraint can create an overwhelming desire to finally feel free, to speak honestly, create boldly, set healthy boundaries, and reconnect with the person they've always been beneath the masks.

Together, we discuss:

• Why disinhibition is so often misunderstood.
• The difference between healthy self-expression and impulsive behavior.
• How sensitivity and sensation seeking can create years of emotional restraint.
• Why many Wild Sensitives suddenly feel the need to change careers, relationships, or lifestyles.
• Practical ways to express yourself authentically without creating unnecessary chaos.

If you've ever wondered why you sometimes feel an intense need to break free, speak your truth, or finally start living authentically, this conversation may help you understand that you're not "too much" or "out of control", you may simply be reconnecting with the parts of yourself that have been waiting to be seen.

Join us as we explore how understanding disinhibition can become a pathway to greater authenticity, healthier relationships, and a life that truly reflects who you are.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:03

What if you could live boldly and feel deeply to explore the edges of adventure?

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Embracing the heart of sensitivity at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

And Randy Grasser.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Together we're going to challenge the stereotypes and ask provocative questions.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Join us now as we begin this journey. So many wild sensitives are not too emotional, as many people believe. They are actually emotionally suppressed until they explode.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Right? Yeah. That sounds like disinhibition.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Well, it is, right? Totally. So that's what we're talking about today is the wonderful world of wild sensitivity with disinhibition. One of the four aspects of high sensation seeking.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Yeah. A big one, I think, and also big misunderstood one.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Yeah, because uh you know, in in one of the books that we wrote, which was specifically on disinhibition, we we actually categorize that as being one of the major um contributors to wild sensitivity is that feeling of disinhibition. I don't fit into the world and and there's something wrong with me, automatically label that when really there could be something wrong with the world, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:34

True. True. I mean, there's no real uh acceptance in the world. Um and the disinhibition part is what drives the wild sensitive inaction.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Yeah. So what we've discovered is a large number of sensitive people spend years masking themselves or people pleasing and even doing what's called self-monitoring. But when disinhibition surfaces, it can emerge suddenly through impulsive honesty or rebellion, uh emotional outbursts, uh addictive behavior, and even dramatic life changes.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Oh, I can so relate to that. If I if I look back on my personal life, um it wasn't until I was, I don't know, in my early 40s, I guess, when my disinhibited side came out more. Um when I was younger, it was much more internal. I mean, gee, if you could have heard here could if you could have heard my thoughts when I was younger, it's like you would have probably been like, whoa.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Hey, uh probably right alongside you because I I think many of us have, you know, twisted thoughts. They're not really twisted, but just you know, questions that are unanswered, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Really expressive and really explicit also about all kinds of situations. And I mean, when I read first about high sensation seeking and and recognized, like, oh, disinhibition, and when I finally understood what it meant, because it wasn't as an easy concept to me in the beginning, but when I finally understood it a little bit more, and now even more, it's like, yeah, of totally. Except someone looking from the outside in to me would have thought, like, no, you're not disinhibited. I mean, every now and then it came out, like what it what you said, like an emotional outburst, if something goes over the top, and then you suddenly like boom.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Yeah, I think that's largely because society often praises emotional controlled sensitivity while condemning emotionally expressive sensitivity. And the, you know, even if that emotionally expressive sensitivity is healthier than the suppressive stuff, right? Yeah. Society has expected us to suppress our emotions, and when we go against that, then we're disinhibited.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Yeah, oh, totally. I mean, that's where where the what we talk about often the costumes, right? How you adapt to the world. And I think that's where the chameleon that we often also mention in sensitive people that shows up. It's like you you feel what other people feel, and so you're very sensitive to what is accepted, what is not accepted, and so we feel very quickly that something like okay, this thought I better keep to myself because otherwise I will be judged for it. And we're very sensitive to that, and so that's why we keep it to ourselves. And so I would say my disinhibited side has been internal mostly, and I'm I'm still emerging in that way that I'm I'm learning more and more to just share whatever comes up in an appropriate way, because that's one of the things I believe is with disinhibition is very present that you if you suppress it, like with anything, it comes out in a very awkward and very uh inappropriate ways at times.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Yeah, eventually, in one form or another, right? Yes. And and that might be, you know, mm blasting out at people inappropriately, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, or it might be internalized. You know, you're you're causing yourself some stress and anxiety and frustration, and it's all internalized because you're not expressing yourself in a manner to which you know you should be.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

You know, you mentioned something about how we interpret other people, we feel other people and absorb their understandings, and and and sometimes that can be a conflict too, right? Because what we're feeling goes against what we believe or what we are feeling ourselves. And now all of a sudden, we don't know where these other feelings are coming from, but we've got this battle going on because we're with people who might be sending a message in one form. We're interpreting that message, but that message is going against what we believe, and that in itself is disinhibition because it we're not going with the flow, we're not following the norms, we're not following the the sheep down the path, right? And sometimes that's internal because we're with people who are they themselves are in conflict. And so that that presents a question is is emotional restraint always maturity?

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Yeah, well, I think in in HSPs and and wild sensitives, and I have to go with my own uh experience on that mostly, I've seen it in other people as well, but mostly how I experience it myself is that because you also understand where other people come from and you don't want to um stand up and be different that yes it is the restraint, but it's not a healthy way. It's not uh because you are suppressing yourself with it. So I wouldn't say it would be uh maturity. Uh no, not not f for sure not. It's more suppression of your true self.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

It's interesting that you said that you we understand other people where they're coming from. Is that always true though?

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Well, not always. I mean, sometimes you just make an assumption or a conclusion out of something. Um but very often when it comes to emotional situations, if someone is describing something, then we do because of our empathy, we do understand what this person is saying. And so it's not always like factual or not always true, and you have to be able to discern between whether we're talking about facts here or how someone is feeling, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Mm-hmm. I wonder though, because I often think that it's we interpret people based on our own realities. And your reality and my reality could be vastly different, but what you're communicating with to me, whether it's verbally, emotionally, you know, whatever, uh physically, uh I'm gonna interpret that through my reality, and my reality is based on my experiences, my knowledge, my my take on life, my belief structures, my core values, if I have any. Um and so I'm wondering if that understanding um generates the disinhibition, like all of a sudden, you know, we're at odds with each other because I'm understanding your perspective from through my lens, and my lens is tainted. I'm I'm curious about that.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Well, I think you're you definitely have a point there. Um I think that very often when we when we understand someone, it's based on like what you said, it's based on our own experiences. And I mean sometimes it's not necessary to have a real understanding because I can be empathetic to your situation without really understanding what's going on. And then it's still it still creates a connection. And so sometimes the details are not important, but in other moments, I mean yes, it is influenced a lot um by by your by your um uh lens.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Yeah. You see, that's why I I love and admire you so much because you have that innate ability to empathize with a vast majority of people. And I'm not sure everybody has that that skill.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Thank you for that. But it's always it's it's not always an easy thing because people often have seen me as very, very agreeable because I understand someone's perspective, or if I even have emp um empathy for someone, and it uh sometimes it comes across as agreeing with someone, and I really had to learn that that um uh to not necessarily agree with someone but just have empathy. Um, because I've gotten in a lot of uh complicated situations where people point out my words to me and like, yes, but you agreed with me, and then I'm like, uh no.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

I've done that even.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

I've done that to you.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Well, I I think that that's uh I think Jordan Peterson talks about that a lot about women and their agreeability. Um and men misunderstand that because you're not agreeing with us, you're acknowledging what we said. Yeah, and there's a difference there. Just because you've acknowledged what we said through, mm-hmm, yeah, uh doesn't necessarily mean you're agreeing with us.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

True.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

And yet when a man does that, he goes, hmm, yeah, that we automatically take that as I'm in agreement with you.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Yeah, yeah, and that's a big difference in the yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

There's a gender kind of translation thing there. But this goes back to now where uh does disinhibition sometimes mean that the nervous system is in survival response? Um I'm gonna give you an example, and and the example is that a lot of times in my past, again, lived experience, um I've encountered people with uh a limited amount of experience, worldly experience, right? And all of a sudden they're trying to push me into something that I know I've experienced before, and I will not engage in that again. And so that's when the wild part of me comes out more than the sensitive part of me, and I'm like, no, I'm not, that's not going to happen.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

And I stand my ground, I set my boundaries, and they see me as disinhibited because I'm not going with their flow or I'm not abiding by their circumstances.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Yeah. Well, I think that's a very, very important distinction to make. Like, disinhibition is not necessarily not agreeing with someone, right? It's how it comes out, like how you express something. Um, if you express something, that's more the disinhibit disinhibition uh that we're talking about. And a lot of people relate disinhibition to, I don't know, running naked around across the beach or uh going to wild parties and and taking drugs, for instance. But it's much more than that. It's also about expressing your inner thoughts and your feelings. And um when you express those, other people might see it as like, oh, you're really disinhibited that you're sharing whatever you were thinking of. But it's the there's a difference between disinhibition and just expressing your thoughts, right? And people interpret it as they put the label on it like you're disinhibited.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Is intentional speeding in a car disinhibition?

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Well, if it's intentional, then it comes close to it, I would say. It is, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:33

I mean you're you're breaking the law. You're going against the law, you're going against the rules, you're going against so in in a in a way, if you say, I'm gonna I'm I'm just gonna go fast, yeah, that's disinhibition. True. And and so sometimes you know we can misunderstand that. So the next thing that we want to kind of highlight is are quiet wild sensitives actually carrying volcanic emotional pressure.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

I would definitely say that's a big yes. Um, and the reason I feel that way is I think that what you just said before, um, when because of our depth of processing, we see so much that is not correct, that is that could be improved, it could be better, it could be like all the rules we have. We see a lot of times, like oh, that's a BS rule, right? It's like uh what what Vishan Lakiani calls a brule shit. Yeah, no, what did they say? Um something like that, whatever it is. But it's it's nonsense, right? And so we either internally or externally judge it as I'm not gonna adhere by this rule. And speeding is one of them, for instance. Like if I have an empty road, then I always found it very illogical that I need to adhere to the speed limit. If there's a lot of traffic, then it makes sense. But that's the point, right? Sensitives have this depth of processing, and so we think about why is a rule in place. And if it doesn't make sense, then depending on your level of disinhibition, you either break that rule, you just put it aside, or you're going to be a brave person and just stick to the rule.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Yeah, and I worked in the corrections um department there. One of the things that was brought to our attention is that 90% of the rules, the laws are made for 5% of the people. And we all have to abide by them because that 5% can be very dangerous, can be very threatening to 95% of the people. And so everybody has to follow these rules based on these five percent of truly disinhibited people, but they don't have that depth of processing, they don't have that sensitivity, they they're void of that. And um, and so a lot of us that that are more wild sensitives, we look at that and we say, Yeah, this this this rule shouldn't apply. Like, I mean, come on, let's just use you know, divergent thinking here, and and it's like, well, wait a minute, you gotta think about the other people. You know, everybody has to fall in line here. And it's this is the disinhibition we're talking about, is that you know, like society needs to have a solid set of rules that everybody fits into, or else we'd have anarchy, right? No, um true. And so how do we how do we blend into that knowing that you just need to think about this a little bit and you don't have to be a rocket science to figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Yeah. Well, I think like what we talked about in our book, like the the disinhibition in the wild sensitive, um, is that there's two ways people can be disinhibited. There's like the healthy way and then there's the unhealthy way. And so if it's not regulated, if it's if it's more spontaneous with outbursts, then it's probably not healthy because then it comes out too strong, too intense. But if you are aware of it and you're more regulated, you can it it's just your inner drive to express yourself, and then it becomes healthy disinhibition, not agreeing with the rules.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

That's that's the the the fact when disinhibition and wild sensitivities is often misunderstood as instability when it actually it it could very well be that it's just authenticity trying to emerge, yeah, but it's being suppressed.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

True.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

And and it's fighting, it's battling itself internally to to come out. And and sometimes it comes out ugly, sometimes it comes out really, really messy because it's fighting to be free. And so that often turns into you know recklessness or inconsistency or even selfishness, you know. Um but if it's empowered, if it's learned, if it's understood, then it can be managed well, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Absolutely. I mean, especially when I was a teenager and I encountered rules, whether it was in school or in in early jobs that I had, um, I I was I was rebellious. Um probably that was times that my disinhibition came out because I was really, really uh standing up for what I believed in, like, no, this is not right. And so I spoke up, or I just simply removed myself from the situation. And I think that that's more um it's sometimes a fine balance between healthy disinhibition and really unregulated um outbursts.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Yeah, I think that whole suppression aspect is a real key player here. Yeah, you know, we we identified that a lot of the so-called midlife crises that people are experiencing, and that could be sudden divorces, uh, sudden career changes, uh sexual awakenings even, um, or spiritual rebellions, um, these are all parts of um a wild sensitive trying to reclaim their nervous system.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I totally agree with that. I mean, if some people they really when they either retire is also one of those moments, right? That you're you're reframing, looking back on your life, like what is it that I've done, and then you suddenly realize like, oh, I I want to do much more. I want to be me.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

A lot of that is um, you know, the life throws dramatic changes in our way as well, right? Uh kids, as an example, we as uh from a guy's perspective, a father's perspective, you know, we're not around our kids as much as we would like to be. And we're off working, providing, like trying to make sure they've got food in their belly, clothes on their back, like everything else. And the even though times have changed since traditional, you know, parenting was it's still very much there.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

And then all of a sudden the kids grow up, they they graduate high school, and they're gonna go off chasing their sticks. And then it's like, okay, now what? Now now what do I do? And then all of a sudden you feel that rebellious part of you. Like I I suppressed myself for so many years in order to raise the kids, and now they're gone, not necessarily gone, gone, but like they're no longer in reliance of me as much as I need to. And I wanna I wanna express myself again. I want to find my way back to who I truly was long ago.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

And so that in itself is dishabinted. No, you've got to be the father still, you gotta, you know, continue on with that lifestyle. And when you don't, you break free from it, it's like, oh, you're a rebel, you're uh you're disinhibited. All right. So that that you know, that brings us on to the next point of of topic that we wanted to talk about, and that's disinhibition can make wild sensitives incredibly compassionate or uh unexpectedly destructive. Right? I mean, when we talk about a regulated wild sensitive um uh that uses disinhibition to speak truthfully, courageously, um, challenge injustice, uh um creative art, music, expression in that way that that helps other people. Uh jelly bean would be a classic example of that of the artist that likes to talk about you know what it's like to live life in true form. Um when we reach out and protect vulnerable people, right? When we inspire change, that that's the healthy, compassionate uh part of disinhibition that is going against most of the rules. But there's also this regulated wild sensitive. Why don't you talk a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_00 22:05

I mean with every aspect, I think there's a regulated and a dysregulated version of it. And especially with disinhibition, if that comes out in a dysregulated way, it's like, oh wow, that's that's difficult for not only for the person itself, but also for the for the surrounding people around it. Because you might just emotionally lash out because of that. That you feel suddenly I mean we all recognize that I think that uh you tolerate something for a longer time you are that chameleon you are adaptive and everything. And at some point you suddenly it's like no more now I'm done. And then it's just like boom comes out. And so that that's when it becomes really uh manipulative maybe even impulsive and it can even be sabotaging relationships. Um it can also be oversharing with things or uh seeking validation through chaos. I mean I've I've seen a lot of situations where um even in myself at times if you become somewhat bored and everything starts to go into routine um you can tolerate that to a certain extent but at some point like I said if it becomes too much then suddenly it's like you just throw in something just just to get a response out of someone or that something happens which is not a healthy way to address things but if you don't have the skills yet to to maneuver that and to navigate it then sometimes that's the only um way you can go.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Yeah I think that kind of challenges the concept that you know sensitive people are always these empathetic, gentle and emotionally safe people and truly they can also be uh equally emotionally challenging um regardless of you know them being sensitive. If they're dysregulated there they don't know how to manage their their emotional stability and they harbor dis inhibition as well then it can be an explosive uh outcome.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Mm-hmm true I mean I don't know where the I mean yes we are kind uh yes we are empathetic towards other people but there's nothing nice and kind about an overstimulated hungry HSP I mean we we can turn into real real aggressive beings in in situations like that. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

And even if you're threatened by something or someone then it's also like you're you're kicking into full gear and then there's not always kindness uh so the world often rewards performative sensitivity while punishing what we call authentic sensitivity right I mean many wild sensitives discover that society accepts sensitivity only when it's agreeable or inspirational when it's calm or aesthetically pleasing and non-confrontational.

SPEAKER_00 25:17

Oh yeah I mean if you're if you're being um outside of the box right then people are not too happy with the with with your sensitivity sometimes um it comes up in situations where it's not helpful and then then yeah that's not um not appreciated indeed by most people and that's when also when sensitive people become more um can can become more uh angry more outspoken more rebellious even because the more you you suppress it the more that will be fed right um it can also be that you're politically challenging other people or even uh sexually being much more expressive or more outspoken about what you enjoy or things like that so it basically becomes more emotionally raw um and so when that happens you're more often rejected and so then it becomes more like oh you're too disinhibited.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

Yeah I think modern culture um might love the idea that sensitivity is more than just you know there's more than just having deep feelings and you know emotional kind of concepts we're for humans um but uh I guess there's a lot more we need to learn about that.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

Yeah true absolutely we can have a much more um powerful uh discussion about a lot of things like about masculinity about femininity uh social media um even the whole therapy culture around HSPs um there's so much to be said about that and also how disinhibition influences that whole experience yeah is the minute that we start to question the status quo that's when disinhibition starts to rear its head right and I think that's an important um realization for many wild sensitives who don't necessarily call themselves wild sensitives is the minute that you feel something is going against the grain internally this doesn't fit there's this there's something wrong here that's that disinhibition concept showing up like I'm challenging you know as opposed to just okay I'm gonna go along with everything and and just yeah status quo man just you know don't make waves yeah um and that's the real separation between a wild sensitive and a highly sensitive person is they don't want to step into that limelight they don't want they they fawn as a you know they they automatically go into the fawn situation and uh more wild sensitives we don't we either fight or sometimes we flight right um but rarer rarely will you see us freeze or fawn. Yeah well I think it's it's also very much related to how you were raised um if if you like in the Netherlands there's also this culture of uh don't stick your neck out onto the cornfield because that's dangerous, right? And so if you've been taught from early on from from childhood on that you especially with girls that is taught a lot I think also in all nations and and cultures you have to be kind, you have to be agreeable, don't speak up because then uh men won't want you and stuff like that. And so there's a real um you need to outgrow that at some point as a woman. I mean boys are I think in I'm just generalizing here and assuming but that you're much more appreciated for being um looking for the right word like being actionable like taking action instead of um discussing first like shall we do this or shall we do that? And in women that's something that is appreciated and and trained even to to be more agreeable. And so there's a lot of cultural influence on how this inhibition shows up in you and whether or not you were in a safe place to express that yes or no because as a child you most often do not have that safe place to express yourself.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Well yeah I mean depending on the culture depending on the parenting um children are the first ones to be told you know be quiet don't don't speak your truth because you don't know truth and and they're observers they're watching they're carefully constructing but that I I the question comes in because you talked about that safety aspect of it is some wild sensitives become addicted to intensity because calm feels emotionally unsafe to them. When things are not you know not not necessarily chaos but in a high pressure kind of situation for a lot of wild sensitives they they they're they're not comfortable with that and like that calmness like everything is calm.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Yeah. I think often that that when that happens if you if you're not comfortable with your sensitivity then the the more adrenaline seeking the sensation seeking part can be m more comfortable to deal with because then you have a challenge to actually deal with instead of emotional uh people around you right and so if you if you are uncomfortable with that part of yourself it's it's sometimes easier to go into that wild part into the sensation seeking I would say I I know for myself and and again I can only talk about myself because I that's you know how I experience life um but I I I need some level of intensity in my life because that's when I feel most alive I'm most awake most aware you know um when I'm in this total relaxed state I go okay just calm down sit on the beach watch the waves roll in I just want to go to sleep and that's when I'm my most vulnerable and so that vulnerability is not something I feel comfortable with because I want to be alert I want to be aware I want to be and and maybe some people call that hypervigilance I in we we've researched this and it's hyper awareness for highly sensitive people it's not hypervigilance.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Hypervigilance is a result of trauma trauma that's not to say that a highly sensitive people cannot be highly aware and hypervigilant at the same time but that hyperawareness is that next level awareness. I am aware of the leaves blowing in the wind I am aware of the crab walking across the sand I'm aware of all these subtleties that other people are not aware of that's that hyper awareness and that's what keeps us alert keeps us alive keeps us on our toes um so that we are not vulnerable to susceptibility of other people preying on us and we're more aware we're in tune with what's around us. Yeah oh yeah absolutely very much so we we are way more um like you said we're way more aware yeah and but that awareness can also translate into being seen as disinhibited so we're like I oh man when I remember my past life it's like oh just sit down and relax relax relax it's like I I am relaxed I'm relaxed being active I'm relaxed being you know me but what people wanted me to do was not be me be them yeah and because I wasn't going to be them I was breaking the rules I was there was something wrong with me there was I was you know challenging difficult you know and it's like well why can't I just be me?

SPEAKER_00 33:36

Well I think that's a a very important point that you're bringing up there because I think a lot of HSP's wild sensitives are encountering situations where in one way or another in one form or whatever shape it takes they're different than the people around them. And to be able to stand your ground and to be able to follow your own authenticity, your own inner lead, you need to have some sort of disinhibition to keep to that and to be able to be brave enough, courageous enough to let that happen instead of like okay I'll adapt to the rest of them because they seem to have it all figured out and otherwise I will get kicked out and and so it depends on your inner confidence I would also say if you're following that yes or no.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Yeah I think there's a lot to be said there. And that's the whole concept behind the disinhibition part right is what does it truly mean? Like is it the the stereotype disinhibition that most people some people have even heard the word. They don't even understand that word disinhibition. What is that? Um but the the reality of it is is is it's going against the status quo.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

It's not following the norms that have been set before us. And it's not doesn't mean you're always doing it. It just means that you're challenging the injustices in life if you're regulated, if you're you're empowered if you're disimregulated, unempowered as a wild sensitive that means your emotions are overriding your depth of processing then disinhibition can be a a a challenge for you because you you're challenging things that you don't quite understand.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

And um and so there's two sides of that coin right?

SPEAKER_00 35:37

Absolutely I mean I certainly didn't understand the word before I encountered it with the high high sensation seeker and of course maybe being Dutch played a part in that so but to really grasp indeed the the this inhibition um it's to me it's basically also the stepping outside of society's norms like not following the rules not not bravely just following the the uh sheep uh herd right yeah and that goes back to you know are you a wild sensitive do you have disinhibited trait in you um that challenges that society's norm if that's the case then yes you are classified as a wild sensitive um if it's like nope I'm just gonna you know whatever they say I'm good with I'll I'll just go with the the flow and I'm alright well then that's not disinhibition. No true that's inhibition. Yeah yeah and it doesn't mean that as a as a wild sensitive you are never going to be inhibited. I mean like I said in the beginning sometimes it takes you a while to find your voice and to express it in a healthy way but um looking just at your inner voice and try to explore like how do I feel with with rules with like situations with logic so-called logic in in jobs and everything uh it's it's where you will find your disinhibited self. It's not always about partying and drugs and uh doing wild sexual stuff.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

And and the thing that we have to remember too is just as much as people have been conditioned to suppress their emotions they've also been conditioned to suppress disinhibition. Yes and and that society punishes people f for being disinhibited.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

True and in large ways right so um sometimes though that that bigger punishment translates into the smaller punishments okay and that starts from our childhood right like don't don't talk you know when you're not supposed to you know do the things that you sit up in school you know don't be late all these other things that that m teaches us to stay within the lines um sometimes we've just subconsciously suppressed our disinhibition even though it's there and that's the ticking time bomb is eventually that comes out right yeah yeah true I mean it's like we said with with many things before is that um originally it was much safer to fit into the herd because if you didn't it would it would be difficult to survive on your own in the wilderness so you needed your tribe but these days things are much different and it's um more possible to not agree with the rest of the community on something. It's it's more becoming more of a socially challenge because if you do not agree then you might get cast out and you might be seen as the black sheep who go goes against the grain. And sometimes that's what you need. It's like what we talked about in a previous podcast creating something that is never done before or never been created before.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

It takes some disinhibition to do that sure does sure does you know I think you're you nailed it on the head you know you look back in the 30s the 40s and the 50s right when you know there was a very solid structure um about behavior how you behaved how you acted how you how you conducted yourself there was concern about what the neighbors would think of you and everybody drove the same cars you know had the same houses and you know life was life was very structured then. Yeah and then the 60s came along and all of a sudden it was like long haired hippies and you know feminist movements and everything okay let's break free of all this that's disinhibition right there. Oh yeah and and all of a sudden the world just went in all sorts of different angles. And then we got the social media where it gave us a a window into that world of diversity so bizarre that um none of those 30 40 and 50 rules even apply anymore. Yet there are still people from that era that are trying to keep us contained. I mean most of politicians are in the that era. True and um and you know so we're in an we're in an era right now of disinhibition where people are like what the hell is going on here and what you know nothing seems to be right and it it's it's one of those challenges. So if you're a sensitive person and you harbor one of these a disinhibition aspect of you then all the more reason to learn more about it. Get in management of it like find the tools that are needed to navigate that.

SPEAKER_00 40:53

Yeah and to l learning to regulate it also when when it is needed when it's you following your authentic self and expressing yourself in a in a kind I mean it doesn't need to come out in a harsh way it can be kind and and friendly way but to express it and so that's uh what we also in the village it's like we don't condemn people for their thoughts or beliefs or whatever it is. I mean if you want to do something crazy if as long as you don't hurt other people hey go for it and enjoy it.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

Yeah um and and that I I guess that's the the ticket right there as long as you don't hurt other people intentionally and and because there's no way we can prevent hurting other people unintentionally because that's they need to have other people need to have the skills in order to handle the world too.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

And so but it's that intentional attack I'm gonna intentionally hurt you.

SPEAKER_02 41:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

That's not not allowed. We don't we don't forbid that but uh learning to accept other people and the way that they conduct themselves is all part of life and the we don't do that by avoiding it. We we do it by exposing ourselves to it and learning to talk about it in a healthy way.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:10

Um but um but yeah I I think moving forward I want to I want to start as we close this one off I also want to mention that just because we're dysregulated emotionally with disinhibition that we don't understand that doesn't mean you're broken. It just means that you haven't developed the skills yet to handle something that you innately own. Yeah it's there's nothing broken about that.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

It's just okay let's let's develop the skills let's let's learn how to to manage that let's learn how to how to how to how to work with that because that's part of who we are and which also means in in embracing your uh imperfectionism or imperfection um because I a lot of uh sensitives have that perfectionism in them right like I want to do a great job and it feels really like oh my gosh it's all my fault if you mess something up and everything and it's it's it starts with embracing that um I can improve here. This is this is an area where I can grow where I can learn something and be okay with that.

SPEAKER_01 43:21

Yeah and part of that is about trying to find the people that accept you for who you are in all your messy way. Yeah um not judging you criticizing you but just helping you see yourself and and and supporting you in that journey. Yeah totally all right my dear hey this has been a great podcast I love having these with you it's always inspiring and inspirational as far as learning and growing.

SPEAKER_00 43:47

Yeah I think uh this specifically is a topic that I really feel strongly about so it was a great conversation. Yeah well let's uh let's open more of that up in the village and let us know what you feel about it and how your disinhibition is uh what it do it's doing for you in your life we would love to hear that.

SPEAKER_01 44:07

Yeah and as always if you have questions or thoughts or ideas um you know join us in the village and uh and share them with us we're love to hear you absolutely so look forward to hearing you next time if you've been listening to the Wild Sensitive podcast where bold exploration meets deep sensitivity and be sure to join our Wild Sensitive Village at wildsensitive.com because together we're strong and if today's episode sparks something in you share it with a fellow Wild Sensitive and don't forget to follow ring and subscribe so you never miss another adventure